Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
