You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
