im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
