Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
