Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
