My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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