Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
