You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize