Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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