When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
