11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
