Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
