I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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