Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
