your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I party with great urgency now.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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