another moral hangover. fuck.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
