In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
