the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Welp...herpes.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
