I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Randomize
