He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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