dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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