and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
