Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize