I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
