When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
