I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize