so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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