If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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