im gay
i know
yea but for you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
