So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
