i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
