I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
