We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
