yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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