If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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