I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
