pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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