what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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