i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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