I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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