After last night, I could never be a politician.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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