Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
