Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
