I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
