I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
