Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
