Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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