I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
