we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just googled if crying burns calories
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
