I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
