Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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