plz talk dirty to me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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