I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
