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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
