nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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