I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
