have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
