I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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