It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
