also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
