He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
