I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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