I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
